It was just over a year ago that I received confirmation that I was losing my job. Suddenly my world was collapsing around me.
What was I going to do next?
Did I have to leave the GTA?
How was I going to make a living?
Everything I had known was coming to an end. Losing my job meant I did have to leave the GTA. And my job was more than just a job. It had become my life. Very unhealthy, but I didn’t recognize that at the time. Where I worked was my church, my friends, my community. 98% of my life was based around that place.
So when I found out I was being laid off, it felt like I had been pushed off a cliff and I was just falling, falling, falling.
And I continued to fall for months after.
I left Toronto and moved in with my parents in Kingsville. But I was lost. I didn’t know what I wanted to do next, so I kept coming up with different ideas of where I could go. I couldn’t stand not knowing. And as I leapt from idea to idea, I fell further.
Then I finally accepted what had happened and that I didn’t know where I was going next. I embraced the unknown as I shared in a previous post and trusted that things were going to happen as they were supposed to. I began to live day by day and not worry about the future. I enjoyed the now, and did my best to remain patient (not something I’m very good at).
And I have been rewarded generously for my patience and my trust.
I stopped falling in late Autumn. I was on steady ground for months.
And now I am rising.
I am rising into new adventures. I am rising into new opportunities. I am rising into new experiences.
I accepted a full time job on Monday, working as a schedule coordinator at a great company called Amy’s Helping Hands. The job is organization and administration based and it’s perfect for me.
The greatest fear I had once accepting this new job was resigning from my current part time one. I was nervous that my bosses would be quite angry with me because I had only been there 6 months and when I was hired I indicated that I was looking for a long term part time job because I was going to be studying part time. That was the plan then.
But plans changed.
On Tuesday I anxiously faced my fear and resigned, and I was humbled by the kindness of my bosses who were supportive and encouraging, assuring me they were not upset, only that they would miss me.
My heart filled with joy. Their gentle response affirmed that taking this new direction in my life was the right thing.
I am so excited to start this new adventure, this new career. Everything about this job feels right and I am thrilled to go back to working full time and being a ‘grown up’ again. This means many new things to come – new car, my own place, new chances for me to grow.
I am floating on a cloud. And the cloud keeps rising into the beautiful, endless sky.
Last night, while talking on the phone with one of my closest friends, I was reminded that everything happens for a reason. There’s a purpose to everything in our lives, good and bad.
This time last year, life was not good for me. I felt as though the rug had been pulled from beneath me, and I couldn’t seem to get up. I went through a time of depression, a time of confusion, and a time of anger.
Now, as I look back, I see that it was all supposed to happen. If I hadn’t lost my job, I never would have moved back to the Windsor area. If I hadn’t moved back here, I never would have known how amazing it is to be close to my family. If I hadn’t moved back to Windsor, I never would have met my Aussie friends who have invited me along on the journey of beginning Three Rivers (more on that in a future post). If I hadn’t moved back here, I wouldn’t be facing the many amazing opportunities that I am right now. If I hadn’t moved back here, I probably would not have ever started this blog.
And if I hadn’t moved back here, I’d probably still be falling.
Because the truth is I was already hanging off that cliff before I lost my job. I was gripping the edge of it, holding on for dear life. And if I hadn’t been pushed the rest of the way off it, I would have eventually just fallen. It was getting too difficult to hang on to, even though I was desperate not to let go.
I couldn’t see beyond where I was. I couldn’t see that I wasn’t where I was supposed to be anymore. I couldn’t see what was waiting for me ahead.
And now I am reminded that everything happens as it’s meant to.
I want to encourage those who are going through a difficult time. Maybe the rug was just pulled out from under you. Maybe you were just pushed off a cliff. Or maybe you’ve been down so long, you’re not sure how to get up.
I hope you know that it will get better.
You will discover a strength inside yourself that you never realized you had.
Your broken heart will be glued back together, and it will mend.
You will rise again.
Stay strong. Have faith.
Everything happens for a reason, and there is something amazing ahead.